This past Sunday there was a community memorial/celebration of life for Barney and Liz Barningham, hosted by Dyan Jones and Randy Martin. It was a beautiful event bringing together so many within the community who were part of these amazing people’s lives. I wanted to share with the broader Saugeen River CSA community my gratitude for what they brought to the farm and our lives. To say I don’t know if I would still be farming without their contributions is one of those “what if” questions that’s impossible to answer.
The picture above was taken at the farm’s 20th year celebration. We couldn’t remember if Liz and Barney had joined the first year in 1997 but for sure by ’98. They were part of the first CSA core group, and again when I formed one in 2010. As you’ll see in a bit they had a big role in the current core group’s formation. For many years they would purchase a CSA share for themselves, but also purchase one for someone in the community in need. They did this anonymously, but I’m sharing it now to honour what that meant to me and to many people in the community.
Before we renovated the current CSA space, the pick-up used to be in the upstairs of the barn. Barney and Liz saw the state of repair the barn was in, and being on the core group were aware of the financial position of the farm. They donated enough money to replace half the roof and half the siding of the barn. This gift was humbling to say the least. It lives in me still when I think about community supporting agriculture and agriculture supporting community. I continue to funnel that gift back to the community in honour of them, knowing the work I do is an important part of the community.
A funny story related to this… one year we had a load of firewood delivered and dumped at the entrance to the barn where the CSA pick-up was. It was intended to be moved just inside the door. But as the season gets so busy moving it was low on the priority list. Members walked by it each time they would get their veggies. When Barney walked by, he would always pick up one piece, and only one piece, and carry it in and toss it where it was supposed to go. If anyone was coming behind him, they would do the same. He never said everyone should do it, never said anything, just knew in his heart that he couldn’t walk by without doing his part.
When the micro-fit energy program was active in Ontario, Barney and Liz wanted to join a solar co-op. They wanted to have a solar array installed at their house just outside Durham, but they had too many trees. They asked us if they could rent a small section of pasture for the array. That is how the solar panel near the barn came to be there. Once they had been paid back for their initial investment, and before Liz’s passing in 2020, they transferred the membership in the co-op to the farm. This was yet again another gift that helps the farm sustain itself, and which I try to honour by giving back to the community.
And now I want to share a more personal story. 2025 marks 20 years since Holly, who I started the Saugeen River CSA with, left the farm. Carrying the management on my own for that long has been filled with joys on many levels, and challenges on many levels. Something that inspires me to keep going and to continue to wonder is working with the animals, plants, soil, weather, seasons… and community, and knowing that what I experience of the physical in nature isn’t all there is. There is spirit too. Of that I’m certain, but the depth of what that is, is an on-going learning.
In exploring the spirit in nature for many year, it has seemed to me a connection exists between those who have passed away and the spiritual side of animals, plants, soil, weather. It has seemed to me that as we, in our lives in a body interact with the physical side of nature, those who pass away, get to experience nature from the other side. The spirit in animals, plants, soil, weather, the seasons is a bridge between the world we know and the one experienced after death. This is something I’ve been wrestling with and don’t mean to convince anyone of anything… just wanted to share an experience.
Having lived with these ideas for so long, when I received Barney’s email, announcing his passing (he was a firm supporter of ‘Dying with Dignity’), I read his final words: “You’ll have to manage the world without me,” and said aloud to the computer, “I’m sorry Barney, but I’m not sure it works that way.” Many times I’ve felt the presence of those who have passed in the blossoming tree, in the whispering wind, in the tilted expression of an animal. For me no one is gone, but simply experiencing another aspect of what it means to be human, and what the meaning of the Earth is all about.
At the time of Barney’s passing, in late 2023, I was at a particularly low point of trying to keep the farm going on my own. A couple weeks after Barney’s email I was in the barn doing winter chores, pushing hay down the trap door, when I heard, very distinctively, Barney’s voice say, “Well it is ‘Community’ supported agriculture isn’t it?”
This inspired me to re-form the CSA core group again and try to engage the community where I can. This is ongoing and evolving.
Barney and Liz have always inspired in me a love and trust in community. This spirit will continue!
Thank you, Barney and Liz!
Cory
Saugeen River CSA 